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30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans-Karl A. Pillemer

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“Heartfelt and ever-endearing—equal parts information and inspiration. This is a book to keep by your bedside and return to often.”—Amy Dickinson, nationally syndicated advice columnist "Ask Amy"More than one thousand extraordinary Americans share their stories and the wisdom they have gained on living, loving, and finding happiness.After a chance encounter with an extraordinary ninety-year-old woman, renowned gerontologist Karl Pillemer began to wonder what older people know about life that the rest of us don't.His quest led him to interview more than one thousand Americans over the age of sixty-five to seek their counsel on all the big issues: children, marriage, money, career, aging. Their moving stories and uncompromisingly honest answers often surprised him. And he found that he consistently heard advice that pointed to these thirty lessons for living. Here he weaves their personal recollections of difficulties overcome and lives well lived into a timeless book filled with the hard-won advice these older Americans wish someone had given them when they were young.Like This I Believe, StoryCorps's Listening Is an Act of Love, and Tuesdays with Morrie, 30 Lessons for Living is a book to keep and to give. Offering clear advice toward a more fulfilling life, it is as useful as it is inspiring.

Book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans Review :



Throughout history, humans have been searching for a better way to live their lives - an easier and more meaningful way, materially and spiritually. In their search, this book entitled ’30 Lessons for Living’ by the gerontologist Dr. K. Pillemer, must be a welcome source. The book is unique in its approach; it is based on tapping the wisdom of the elders in the society who lived and experienced life fully and are willing to share their experience and knowledge with the new generations.How does one approach such a project? The author's plan was to ensure that all participants are 65 years and over. To be meaningful, the number of participants should be around 1000 and should be from various sectors of the society. In this study the average age of the candidates ranged between 74 and 80 Years. To ensure a proper sociological approach, the study was carried out in cooperation with Cornell University (Ithaca, NY) and was subject to its approval.The purpose of the project was to try to gain some insight into the experience of those elders and to see how to make it beneficial for the new generations. Here is a brief sample of the questions asked: What was your most important lesson for living that you wish to pass on to the new generations? What is your advice to them regarding marriage, raising children , health and careers? What were your core values and principles ? What would you advise them about aging gracefully?Although this project was carefully studied and implemented, and attracted much attention, yet, looking back critically, it leaves some questions in the mind of the reader concerning its practicality. If the core issue is to make it useful to new generations, what assurance have we that the issues encountered by the elders, say some 70 years ago, will still be applicable to the conditions of the new generations today? Have we not witnessed the overwhelming changes that have taken place in the last century in almost all walks of life?A more serious issue is the current gap between the elders and the new generations. As several interviewees confessed in later comments: The new generations have become convinced that we, the elders, are irrelevant and our views are archaic. Many sociologists seem to agree and ask: How often do we see young groups seeking the advice of, or even socializing with, the elders? Sadly, those wise and experienced elders who could be so useful to their society, are now more and more ignored and sidelined.Fuad R QubeinJuly 2018
At 20, I wouldn't have read it. I was in a hurry - learning, climbing. Mortality? Huh? At 30, it's family, career and it's obligations - no time to contemplate. Little time to read. At 40, I'm beginning to settle, mind is opening - I might have given this book a glance. But I'm wary. At x0, (I can't believe it or say it or type it). Where did the years go? My eyes are WIDE OPEN. I'm locked in on this book. Not sure how I tripped into the book. (Coincidence? Deepak Sharma would say Not.) I read an Amazon review where the reviewer described the book as "Profound." Really? How many top-10-list self-help books have I read? Not sure I can recall one lesson from these books. I was skeptical. (Highly). And I was wrong. (Again)There is an estimated $1 billion spent each year on self-improvements books in the U.S. And more advice columns, television experts, and websites - all preaching advice of one sort or another. Yet none of them speak from experience of having lived and learned. Karl Pillemer, the author and a gerontologist at Cornell, interviewed more than 1,000 older Americans between the ages of 70 to 100 in search of lessons for living. He spent over 5 years on the project and summarized his findings in this book. Lessons range from:* Lessons for a Happy Marriage (Marry Someone a Lot Like You; Friendship is Important; Don't Keep Score; Talk to Each Other; Commit to Marriage not just your Partner)* Lessons for a Successful and Fulfilling Career (Seek Intrinsic Rewards, not financial ones; Don't give up looking for a job you love; Make the Most of a Bad Job, Emotional Intelligence Trumps all; Everyone needs autonomy)* Lessons for Parenting (It's all about time; It's normal to have favorites but don't show it; Don't Hit Your Kids; Avoid A Rift At All Costs; Take A Lifelong View of Relationships with Children)* Lessons For Aging Fearlessly and Well (Being Old is Much Better than you think; Act Now Like You will need your body for 100 years; Don't Worry About Dying; Stay Connected to others; Plan ahead where you will live)* Lessons For Living a Life Without Regrets (Always be honest; Say Yes to Opportunities; Travel More; Choose a Mate with Extreme Care; Say It Now before it is too late)* Lessons for Living Like an Expert (Choose Happiness; Time is of the Essence; Happiness is a Choice, not a condition; Time Spent Worrying is Wasted; Think Small; Have Faith; Live by the Golden Rule)I was deeply moved by this book. I found myself being pulled along - with skepticism being stripped down to bare bones of belief as I turned the pages. He's on to something. The power of this book is in the stories and the anecdotes of the "experts" (the term he uses to describe the elders who are interviewed for his research). The voices of experts are calm...peaceful...learned...zen-like. The author weaves lessons and stories gently throughout - - a slow moving stream making its way south.Highly Recommended.

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